OR: How To Illuminate Your Fish Tank. OR: Do you like fish sticks? Yes? Then you're a gay fish.
Today was a busy day. I started it by leaping off the couch - Elizabeth is ill so guess who gets my bed? - and landing flat on my face. I tried again and succeeded in finding my legs on the second attempt. They were under me all the time! Who knew. I got dressed and went upstairs to wake up the school-going kids but found that both of them were quite ill. They were in no state for education today! Now that I didn't have to make lunch and generally shout at smaller people I could do what I really like doing in the mornings.. I went back to sleep.
When you lot were in work I was sleeping! It. Was. Awesome. Seriously, try it. It rocks.
However I was woken up at about 10 by the sound of small children engaged in nuclear war or butchering baby seals or playing with lego (it's hard to tell really, their activities all tend to sound like "arrrrraaaagggghhhhhhhhhhhhh waaaaaaaaaaah wallop crash wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee blarrrragh").
So began the day. I did a bunch of coding, did a lot of caffiene, did some more code and a fair bit of photoshop. Then I lost interest and decided to bring the kids to the playground because I was going to murder the little bastards. Seriously, they were making the above noise CONSTANTLY since they got up and I couldnae take and more cap'n. It was then that popt_art told me that I might like to bring the kids to the pet shop and buy a few fish for our new aquarium.
You see, a week or so ago Elizabeth in her Queen Of The Fucking Universe wisdom decided that she needed to relocate some tadpoles from her Nan's pond and bring them home. 12 seconds after the tadpoles arrived in our house Elizabeth in her Exceptionally Irritating way, utterly forgot about them. Popt_art and I however found ourselves quite taken by the wee froglets and they became known as Gordon and Bennet. Sadly we have no feckin' clue on how to look after tadpoles.
As luck would have it, the other day I spotted "My First Aquarium" for sale next to the ski-wear and Electric Arc Welder in Aldi's "Weird Crap" section and mentioned this fact to popt_art. So it was in this fashion that we ended up with a small fish tank and two tadpoles floating forlornly in the middle of it. We put in green stuff and everything. Gordon and Bennet should have LOVED it in there, but noooooo, the spoiled little goits didn't like it one bit. Because popt_art is generally nicer than me to living creatures I could potentially have in a sandwich, she decided to release Gordon and Bennet back into their pond whilst I distracted the crap out of the kids in the pet shop.

Bennet! Gordon was hiding. That's froglets for you.
And that's how I found myself at about 6pm this evening talking seriously to the proprietor of the pet shop about different types of slimy things that basically do fuck all and require a LOT of attention. Hmm, they're a bit like me actually. Sweeeeet.
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